Our Guide To Surviving The Olympic Opening Ceremony

So Rio 2016 is upon us! This means that its time for sitting on the couch, shovelling Wotsits into your face and yelling at Jessica Ennis for not running/jumping/throwing well enough. Before all that, a vital part of any Olympics is the opening ceremony; where the host country gets to showcase its talent, its culture and its people. We all know that this can be a bit of an ordeal and with it kicking off at midnight this year, we can’t see that changing. Thankfully your Beer52 box is one way of soothing the boredom. Here is our guide on how to get through it in helpful bitesize chunks.

The Artistic Bit…

Lets set our stall out early, this is the best it’s going to get. Lights, fireworks, dancing… A bit of excitement! Rumour has it we are in for an absolute treat this time around as Fernando Meirelles, director of The City of God, has taken the reigns to bring a show stopping interpretations of what makes Rio the best city on earth. If he does as good a job as Danny Boyle did, then we can’t complain. There are even rumours that Brazils most famous supermodel Giselle Bundchen, will be getting mugged… So our advice is sit back and enjoy while it lasts; you need a tasty beer thats really going to suit the tropical, vibrant flare that Meirelles has promised. From the latest box we’d suggest Transmission by North Brewing Co, whose tropical notes will get your tongue dancing like its carnival time. Or you could plump for the Gosnells Hopped Mead, its creative twist and unusual nature could easily match the artistic expression of the on screen action.

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Ooh shiny!

The Parade Bit…

We told you that you’ve had the best bit and like the spoilt child that eats desert before mains – its time to endure the consequences. As ever the procession is lead by the Greek team; who walk round the stadium with their fellow athletes and wave to adoring crowd. This will continue until until 206 countries later Brazil will enter the stadium to end the procession. If you’re waiting to see Team GB, then they pop out at 76. This takes endurance and you need to be ready – so we recommend a good session beer to keep you going. From this month box there are two low abv beers to distract you with enjoyment during the few hours this will take. Jacobs Ladder by Buxton Brewery has all the flavour of a hard hitting hopster, but with a super low 2.7% abv. Couple this with Bikini Beer by Evil Twin and its well balanced, citrus flavour and you can get through it. Trust us!

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Must… keep… smiling… and… waving…

The Bit Where the BBC Commentary Team Compare It To London 2012

Its almost an inevitability. The poor commentators have about 4 hours of ceremony to fill with up beat banter, so we don’t blame them for slipping into the nostalgia of four years ago. As long as its subtle and not some Partridge-esque whopper we can deal with it. To celebrate any mention of Londons games, we’d recommend trying two of the capitals finest exports from your box. Pull out the Five Points Pale or the Westway Pale Ale from Portobello and wistfully float back to the memory of the Queen skydiving with James Bond.

The Flame Bit

Another bit of the ceremony which always sparks a bit of excitement is the lighting of the flame. Endlessly reimagined it’ll at least be interesting to see how the guys behind Rio have done it this year. I’d plump for Ronaldinho back heeling a football into a burning skip, but no one came to me and asked. Crack open either of your Fourpure beers for this one. American Pale and its peach and pine notes or the summery Bavarian Skyliner Wheat will set you in good stead.

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What will the Rio torch look like…

The Bit When You Turn The TV Off

Its a well known fact that 200% of people who watch the opening ceremony don’t make it to the end. Don’t feel bad. The moment you do, you’re probably considering bed an there is no better night cap than Five Points Brewing Co’s Railway Porter. Dark toffee, coffee and bitter chocolate flavour all head towards the perfect nights sleep and lets be honest if you made it to Team GB, you deserve exactly that. Gold medal for you!

Bonus Rounds – Open ROGUE’s American Amber if…

Someone falls over in the parade.

Commentator says “Its like a carnival in here”.

There is a helicopter shot of Christ the Redeemer.

There is still building work going on in the stadium.

So hopefully with this guide you’ll be able to cope. We’ve had some cracking beers this month so if nothing else they will distract you from the ceremony. If you have any top tips, let us know on Twitter or Facebook!

Thanks for reading!



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